


Anything For You

by ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi knows everything somehow, Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Coffee Shops, Confessions, Daichi is a helpful dad, Drinking, Drunken Shenanigans, FTM Hinata Shouyou, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar, Genderfluid Yamaguchi Tadashi, Getting Together, Im literally so excited for the karaoke scenes, Karaoke, Kuroo would do anything for Kenma, M/M, Mentioned Oikawa Tooru/Iwaizumi Hajime, Mentioned Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Morning Cuddles, Nonbinary Akaashi Keiji, Nonbinary Kozume Kenma, Nonbinary Oikawa Tooru, POV Kuroo Tetsurou, Pansexual Kuroo Tetsurou, Roommates, SO MUCH FLUFF, as in Kuroo works there, keiji uses they/them, kenma uses they/them and he/him, oh my god daisuga is pretty much just there for fluffy relief, oh my god they were roommates, sexual references but no sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 17:58:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17533490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil/pseuds/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil
Summary: Due to a clerical error in Kenma's social anxiety, the SAGA club at their college thinks that they and Kuroo are an item.Kuroo would literally do anything for Kenma, so he agrees to go along with it to save Kenma from an awkward confrontation.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Basically my brain was like "Hey Cecil why don't you write a fic where Kuroo and Kenma have a fake relationship?" and I couldn't argue with that

When Tetsurou got a text from Kenma that only read, _“Level 10,”_ along with an address, he immediately left the house. There's a chance he sped the whole way there, and he may have even ran a red light (or three). Level Ten emergencies were Kenma's worst moments of anxiety. Tetsurou had to save him.

That was how he ended up storming into the local gay bar and threatening to start a fight with the guy who wouldn't back the hell off of Kenma.

That was how he ended up pushing said guy into a wall and reminding him – politely – that gay or straight, harassment was harassment, and no one likes a guy who can't take a fucking hint.

That was how, when he was asked:

“What the hell's it to you?”

He impulsively replied:

“He's my fucking boyfriend!”

And _that_ was why he was sitting next to Kenma in the car, unable to make eye contact.

“Thank you, Kuro,” Kenma said finally. “He really scared me.”

Tetsurou nodded, smiling guiltily at his oldest friend. “Anytime, kitten.”

“What did you tell him?”

 _Why does god hate me?_ “Uh…I told him no one likes a pervert.”

“Hypocrite,” Kenma snorted, pulling his PSP out of his pocket.

“You brought that with you to a bar? What's the point of going out if you're not going to talk to anyone?”

He sighed impatiently. “I don't want a boyfriend who can't respect my general disinterest in everything other than games, Kuro.”

“I guess that's fair.” After a beat, he added, “I'll go with you next time. Just to be safe.”

“Not if you're going to tell every guy who looks at me that I'm your boyfriend.”

Tetsurou froze. “What?”

“You were not very quiet. Even the bartender complimented me on picking a man so protective.”

It was like his entire being was melting into the driver's seat. He sank down, wishing he didn't have to turn the ignition eventually.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Why? It worked, didn't it?”

“I mean, yeah. I still should've asked before declaring us a couple.”

He shrugged, then started his game. “Whatever. You have my standing permission to tell people that when they're being creeps.”

“You sure know how to make a man swoon, kitten.” Tetsurou turned the key and began the drive back to their dorm.

 

Once they got home, Kenma sank onto the couch, not looking up from his game once.

“I never even got to finish my drink,” he sighed offhandedly.

Tetsurou frowned. “What did you order? I'll make you whatever it was. On the house,” he added, grinning.

“I bought all of our alcohol,” Kenma reminded him. “It was just a vodka martini with olives. Nothing fancy.”

“We don't have olives,” Tetsurou informed him, “nor do we have vodka. We do, however, have some cherry brandy, which I can mix with some cherry cola?”

“That's functionally the same,” Kenma said in a flat tone reserved for his drier jokes. “Oh. I should tell Shouyou that I ended up leaving early.”

“Wouldn't want him to worry,” Tetsurou agreed, pouring two drinks.

“I don't even get why he wanted me to do this.”

“Because he met Tobio-kun at a singles' night and wanted you to have the same luck.” He handed Kenma his drink. “He wants you to be happy.”

“Happiness sounds like a pain to maintain.”

Tetsurou smiled and shook his head. “Whatever you say, kitten.”

 

When Tetsurou finished his classes for the day, he came home to rest before his shift at work started. Being a chem major was no walk in the park, and in his third year of school, he felt like it just kept on getting harder.

Before he could breathe or sit or anything, he was greeted with a very guilty looking Kenma sitting on the counter. When Tetsurou walked in, Kenma put down his game.

That was how he knew it was serious.

“What did you do, Kenma?”

“Why do you think I did something?” his friend replied defensively.

“You look like a kitten who just broke a vase. What did you _do_ , Kenma?” Tetsurou repeated, stepping closer.

“I just got back from SAGA club?” he began, chewing on his lip and avoiding Tetsurou’s eyes.

“Did you tell Hinata-kun that you left the bar early yesterday?”

“Y-yes.”

Tetsurou sat up next to him on the counter. “So, what’s the problem?”

“He assumed…that I left with someone.”

“You did, technically.”

“Exactly.” He spread his hands like that explained everything. It most certainly did not.

“Okay, what’s your point?”

Kenma wringed his hands, suddenly gaining an interest in his fingers. “Uh, I tried to correct him by saying that I just left with you, but – you know, he really put me on the spot? I don’t think I said it right.”

Tetsurou sighed, putting a hand over Kenma’s. He smiled patiently. “What did you say instead, kitten?”

“I – well – I might have just said, ‘I left with Kuro,’ and he thought – well, everyone thought – I meant we _left together_. And Yamaguchi said, ‘Oh, finally,’ and other people started agreeing with her and…I was too caught off guard to correct any of them.”

“So, what? Do they all think we hooked up or something?”

“Worse.”

“It’s not that bad as it is-”

“They think you’re my boyfriend now.”

Tetsurou could feel Kenma tense up, as if he was waiting for him to get mad. Tetsurou couldn’t imagine _why_ he would get mad. He kind of accidentally started this anyways.

“That’s not so bad. Do you want to set a date to fake breakup?”

“No,” he replied, sinking down. “Because now Shouyou isn’t going to try to set me up anymore. I don’t want to be set up. I hate talking to strangers. I hate groups of people I don’t know. You know all this.”

“So, do you want me to play along when we see your friends, then?”

Kenma nodded, still avoiding eye contact. “Just…for a little while. Until they stop caring so much?”

“You’re such an anxious kitten,” Tetsurou laughed. “Come here. You know I’d do like, literally anything for you? This is nothing.”

Kenma sat up and moved across the counter to lean on him. “Thanks, Kuro.”

Tetsurou put an arm around him, then frowned. “I have this feeling there is still something you’re not telling me.”

“They want me to bring you to the next meeting.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. This really wasn’t as bad as he was expecting when he saw that look of guilt. Kenma’s anxiety sure did convince him that things were worse than they were.

“I’ll _be_ there, Ken.”

“Stop laughing,” Kenma whined, pushing him. “It’s not funny; it’s embarrassing.”

“It’s kind of funny.”

“ _No_.”

“So, is this our official ‘get together’ story, then? Leaving together from a gay bar?”

“It’s all they know. Feel free to embellish.”

“You told me you were pining for me for _years_ , and the way I defended you just was so unbearably charming that you _had to have me_ , right there in the car.”

“Ew.” Kenma crinkled his nose. “If anything, _you_ confessed first, and _you_ are the one who’s been pining for years. And I would never have sex in a car, Kuro.”

“Well, you’re no fun.” He thought for a moment. “Okay, you asked me why I told the guy you were my boyfriend. I told you that a part of me wished it was true, and it just slipped out.”

“And then I told you that I wouldn’t mind if it were true,” Kenma offered.

“That works. And _then_ we kissed.”

“No. We didn’t say anything about it until we got home.”

He groaned. “Okay, you said I could embellish, but it seems like you’re the one making up the story.”

“No one would believe you if you told them I addressed a feeling on the spot, Kuro.”

“ _Fine_. We didn’t say anything until we got home. Then, I asked you if you really meant what you said. You said yes.”

“I said I didn’t know,” he corrected, a tiny smirk finding its way onto his face. “No one would believe you if you told them I let you have this that easily.”

“Jeez, kitten, not even in our fake relationship story do I get this easily. Fine, you tell the story.”

“You got annoyed, just like that,” he laughed, “so I stopped teasing you. Maybe I kissed you. Then, we went our separate ways to our rooms. In the morning, you made me coffee-”

“I always make you coffee.”

“-and that was that. We were boyfriends. Tada, no need for theatrics.”

“Have we been on our first date yet?”

Kenma thought for a moment. “No. We’re both too busy for that.”

“How are we boyfriends if we’re no different from before. Will anyone believe _you_?”

“Well, we ‘date’, but they’re just stay-in dates. Happy?”

“I dunno,” Tetsurou sighed, pouting and turning away. “It sounds like you don’t really care about me or have time for me.”

“Shut up, you’re lucky to have me,” Kenma teased. “Thank you,” he added more sincerely. “I mean, really. Thanks.”

“I’d do anything for you, Kenma. Oh! I have to get ready for work now, though!”

As Tetsurou showered and changed, he tried not to think about this. It was going to be fine. It sounded like their “romance” was literally just their friendship, which meant he wasn’t going to have to worry about fucking this up. Right?

Yeah. Right. It was going to be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not had top surgery, but as an afab nonbinary pal, I've considered it. So anything written here is based on how I figured I would react. But obviously some people have more emotional times and it's different for everyone and I totally respect that and so yeah I just wanted to put it out there. Anyways the conversation of top surgery comes up here, and I did my best, but my best is limited by my own feelings as they relate to myself. Well, that, and some Tumblr posts that I've seen, including one where a guy wished his breasts farewell with pizza as their "last meal" before his top surgery (or something to that effect).
> 
> That being said, I also recognize that the experience has a lot to do with outer factors, which aren't covered here. I know that I might not need to make a long thing about it, per say, but since it's such a close topic to me, I wanted to. Sometimes, I like to know where an author is coming from with this stuff, so maybe you would too.

“Please don’t embarrass me,” Kenma begged as they pulled Tetsurou to the SAGA club meeting. “I really don’t want to focus on this if at all possible.”

“Me? Embarrass you? When have I _ever_ done that, Kenma?”

“Our entire childhood.”

Tetsurou flashed his Cheshire grin. “And yet, you fell for me anyways!”

“See, that is an example of something I am _begging_ you not to say.”

“Should I hold your hand?”

“I don’t care.”

“Put my arm around you?”

“Kuro…”

“Alright, alright.” He simply offered his hand. “I’m guessing I’m supposed to answer all the questions, though?”

“Yes, please.” They frowned and looked up at him. “We’re done embellishing. Don’t tell them anything we didn’t already discuss.”

“I would _never_ ,” he scoffed, but he had to bite his lip to contain a smirk. “God, kitten, would you trust me? I know this is important for you.”

“It is,” they agreed, sitting in a chair. “If you embarrass me, I’ll lose my only friends who aren’t you. Do you know how annoying that would be?”

“Aww, you don’t want me to be the center of your world?”

“Kuro.”

“Light of your life?” He draped himself over their shoulders.

“Stop,” they laughed, shrugging him off.

“Best thing that’s _ever_ happened to you?”

“If anything, I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to _you_ ,” they argued, turning around to punch him in the arm. “Just sit down!”

“This is abuse!” Tetsurou wailed.

“Shut up,” Kenma giggled. “I shouldn’t have brought you!”

“I’ll be _good_.”

“Aww, Tobio, do you remember when our love was that fresh and beautiful?” cheered a new voice.

Tetsurou turned to find Hinata walking into the room with his boyfriend.

“No,” the boyfriend replied, taking a seat.

“ _What_?” Hinata gasped. “Tobio!”

“Hi, Shouyou,” Kenma greeted, waving and giving a tiny smile.

“Hey, Kenma! Kuroo-san!”

Tetsurou waved. “Hey, Hinata-kun.”

It took about five minutes for the rest of the group to file in: Yamaguchi, Nishinoya, Oikawa, Asahi, and Akaashi.

_Wait_.

Tetsurou suddenly wondered if this was a bad idea. Akaashi was great, but if they were here, that meant they would hear about this. If they heard about this, they could tell Bokuto…

_Oh, no._

He looked back at Kenma, and he just couldn’t tell them no. Even if this was the farthest their anxiety had ever gone to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation, it really wasn’t the worst thing they could ask him for. He was just going to have to deal with the fact Bokuto was _never_ going to let him live this down.

“Kuroo-san, you look constipated!” Nishinoya observed, pulling his knees into his chest. “You good?”

“Nervous,” he replied, running his fingers through his hair, trying to calm the perpetual bedhead. It wasn’t technically a lie.

“Aww!” Hinata sang, grinning at him. “So cute! Tobio was nervous the first time I brought him along, too-”

“No, I wasn’t!” Kageyama barked, eyes wide. “Don’t tell them shit like that! Dumbass!”

Hinata frowned and shoved his head. “Mean!”

“Is this normal?” Tetsurou whispered to Kenma. They just nodded vigorously in reply. “Great.”

“We wanna hear all about it!” Yamaguchi squealed. “C’mon! I mean, you know how Kenma is – they’re not one to give many details! All we know is you went home together on singles’ night.”

So, Tetsurou stumbled through the story they made up, trying not to sound like he’d rehearsed it (he had). Anything to avoid fucking this up for Kenma.

“Anyways, they gave me a really hard time when I first tried to talk to them about it,” he laughed, trying to shove down his nerves.

“No surprise there,” Akaashi snorted.

“I made it up to you,” Kenma grumbled, as if they were trying to remind him what came next.

“ _Oh_?” Noya leaned in closer. “How did you do that, Kozume-kun?”

They instantly turned red when the attention went back on them. “Uh – well – um…”

“They kissed me!” Tetsurou interrupted. “Right…on the…face.” _God, that was stupid._ “But then, they went to their room, and we didn’t really say anything else.”

“He made me coffee the next morning.”

“Like _always_.”

“And I kissed him again before he went to classes.”

“ _Not_ like always,” Tetsurou finished, smiling at everyone. “I – I don’t know if that’s quite what you were hoping for, but that’s how it happened!”

“When did you first know you were in love with them?” Hinata hummed, clearly caught up in the fake romance.

He shrugged. “I dunno… We’ve known each other forever, so who can say for sure?”

Oikawa snorted. “Um, I can? Easily? Like, I fell for Iwa-chan in our second year of junior high!”

“I fell for Tsukki in the third year of junior high,” Yamaguchi piped up. “So… _c’mon_ , Kuroo-san! Don’t be shy!”

Now would be a good time to address the part where Tetsurou really was in love with his oldest friend, and he really did have an answer to this question.

“The first time they tossed for me.”

“You were like eight,” Kenma laughed, shaking their head.

“You were pretty, and you paid attention to me,” Tetsurou reasoned.

“Not that much attention.”

“Not different from now, then.”

“Aww!” a couple of the group cooed, but Kenma just turned red.

“Whatever! We’re supposed to be here to celebrate Shouyou,” they reminded everyone.

Once no one was looking anymore, they moved their chair closer to Tetsurou and leaned against him. He put an arm around them, trying to stay calm and casual. Now was not the right time to really think about this. He just prayed they couldn’t hear his heart speed up.

“Right!” Hinata gasped, shooting out of his chair. “My top surgery is next week!”

“Congratulations, Chibi-chan!” Oikawa cheered.

“Thanks!” he said with a bright grin. “We’re going to wish these old things farewell!” He patted his chest, despite it clearly being held down by a binder.

Kageyama chuckled. “When he got the confirmation call for the appointment, he looked down his shirt and deadass said, ‘Bye, bitch,’ I couldn’t stop laughing.”

“I’ve been wanting to do this for _years_ ,” he squeaked. “Don’t make fun of me, Tobio!”

“I’m _not_ making fun of you! I’m celebrating with you. I’m happy that you get to finally do this.”

“Me too!”

Tetsurou laughed. “I remember when Kenma got their top surgery. Their reaction was…pretty similar.”

“I can’t imagine them saying anything like that,” Yamaguchi laughed.

“Well, it was somewhere along the lines of, ‘Goodbye, tiddies, I don’t fucking want you,’” he quoted.

“Don’t tell them that,” Kenma whined, sinking further into Tetsurou’s arms.

Tetsurou reached up and ruffled their hair. “It was endearing! And I was glad to see you show a complete emotion about something.”

He wondered if it was weird to kiss their head. Then, with everyone looking at him, he wondered if it was weird _not to_. There were still some things they needed to flesh out if this fake relationship was going to last for a hot second.

“I’m kinda nervous about recovery and everything, though,” Hinata admitted, sitting back down. “I don’t know what I’d do without Kenma helping me along each step of the way, honestly.”

“It’s what I’m here for,” Kenma said softly. “You’re going to do great, Shouyou. We’re…all here.”

“I’m gonna be right there when you wake up,” Kageyama promised, taking Hinata’s hand and kissing it.

“I know.”

They were so cute together, Tetsurou was pretty sure it was giving him a cavity.

 

“Thanks,” Kenma whispered as they left the club. “I’m really glad you came.”

“I should come more often,” he blurted out. “I mean – it’s an LGBT club… I’m pansexual… so…”

“You should come more often,” Kenma agreed, squeezing his hand. “I’d like that.”

“Me too.”

“You know,” Akaashi said from behind the two, “we should go on a double date sometime. I bet that Bokuto-san would love that.”

Tetsurou almost choked when he turned to look at them. “Um – that would be – um!”

“I don’t like group outings,” Kenma pointed out.

“The four of us have hung out before,” Akaashi countered.

If Tetsurou didn’t know better, he’d swear that Keiji saw right through the lies and was just trying to make him suffer.

“Alright, fine,” Kenma grumbled. “Tell Koutarou that if he gives me a hard time, I’ll kick him.”

They smiled. “I’m sure he already knows. See you two around.”

“Bye, Keiji,” Kenma said.

“Bye, Akaashi-kun,” Tetsurou muttered. Once they were out of earshot, he turned to Kenma. “Okay, that was not discussed.”

“Well, what was I supposed to say?” They looked up at him, big kitten eyes wide with panic.

“Nothing. You did fine. I just mean…we’ve got to bang out a few more details.”

“Like what?”

“Like…how much PDA do we display? Should we go on dates and take pictures for proof? Do you want anyone outside of club to know? Don’t you think it’s a little hard to keep it from them? What if our parents find out? Do you think-?”

“Kuro,” Kenma interrupted, “please stop.”

“Sorry.”

“I think you’re worrying about this more than me,” they noted. “We’ll discuss the details when we get home, okay? And…thanks, again. I didn’t realize you were going to stress about it so much.”

“I just don’t want to mess it up for you.” That was technically true.

“Thanks.”

 

“Okay,” Kenma sighed, sitting up on the counter. “PDA.”

“Yeah?”

“Hand holding and hugging is okay. I don’t want to kiss in front of people. I wouldn’t want to do that even if we were together.”

“Okay.” Tetsurou made mental note of that. “Dates?”

“We can do that, but it wouldn’t be any different from what we normally do? We can just…take pictures.”

“People outside of club?”

“Please don’t tell anyone I made this up,” they pleaded, avoiding his eyes. “I would die.”

He nodded. “Okay, so everyone. Families, though?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it,” they whispered. “I don’t think they’ll care whether we tell them the lie or the reason for the lie.”

“True,” he agreed, stepping closer to them. “Hey, are you okay?”

They nodded. “I’m sorry for putting you in this position.”

“Kenma, I don’t care,” he reminded them. “I really don’t mind this.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Next stop: date with Bokuto and Akaashi.”

“I can’t believe they asked me that. They _know_ I hate the idea of it.”

“I think they know,” Tetsurou admitted. “I mean…have you ever known Keiji to _not_ know something?”

“I just hope they don’t say anything about it.”

“They wouldn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, Kenma is demiboy nonbinary. I don't really state that outright in the fic but just, if you were wondering. Oh, and Keiji totally knows.


	3. Chapter 3

On the day of the fake date, Tetsurou was pretty sure he was going to die of anxiety. This was unusual, because the only one with real cause to be anxious was Kenma. But no, surprisingly, he was handling this just fine. It was Tetsurou who felt like he was going to implode.

“You’re overthinking.” Kenma sipped his coffee. “Like, way overthinking.”

Tetsurou didn’t know how to tell him why. Bokuto was going to prove it soon enough.

“You don’t look like you’re dressed for a date,” he continued, frowning at Tetsurou’s outfit. “Shouldn’t you be dressing a _little_ nicer?”

“We’re just going ice-skating and bowling. And to dinner. And a movie. God, I hate Koutarou sometimes. He’s always got to over-plan.”

“Don’t forget the karaoke bar at the end of the night,” Kenma reminded him. “You’ve got to at least wear something smart-casual. This is like we’re staying in and playing video games.” He frowned. “I should’ve bargained for an arcade.”

“Maybe we can do that instead of bowling,” Tetsurou suggested. “Fine, what do you want me to wear?”

Kenma headed to his closet. “This.” He threw a shirt at him. “Your pants are fine.”

“Thanks, I thought they really made my ass look nice,” he joked, giving a turn.

“As nice as it can look.” Kenma wrinkled his nose. “Now, change. I don’t want to be late.”

“But you don’t want to be early.”

“Or creepily on time.”

“So, why are we going?” he asked as he pulled off his shirt.

“Because I’d feel bad if we ditched.”

Tetsurou sighed. “Well, we can start heading out after I put this on, then.”

He buttoned his shirt up, which made Kenma groan again. “What are you, a prude?” He undid the top two.

Tetsurou swatted his hands away. “Sorry that I’m not the perfect boyfriend, kitten, but you fell in love with me as is.”

“Exactly, and I know you’re a slut, Kuro.”

Tetsurou gasped, feigning offense. “I can’t believe you’d say that, Ken!”

“I’m sorry, am I _wrong_?”

“No.”

“Let’s go, then.” He led him out of the dorm, locked the door, then awkwardly offered his hand. “Never too early to start this, right?”

Tetsurou took his hand, then wondered how Kenma had gotten away with dressing more casually than him. He was just in a band shirt, denim jacket, and ripped black jeans, when Tetsurou had to put on a button-down? Unfair.

“It would be suspicious if I overdressed,” Kenma muttered as if reading his mind. He really hoped his friend couldn’t read his mind.

 

“Kubro!”

“Brokuto!”

They abandoned their dates to embrace like long-lost lovers.

“It’s been too long, Tetsu!”

“You too, Koutarou!”

“You have a class together,” Akaashi sighed, straightening their shirt. “Let’s go?”

The four of them walked into the ice rink together.

“I’m so happy for you, Kuroo,” Bokuto cheered. “I mean, you’ve been-”

“Shut up,” Tetsurou interrupted, smacking him upside the head and giving him a warning glance. “I’ll kill you if you finish your sentence.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright.”

“What was he gonna say?” Kenma asked, smirking up at him.

“Nothing, kitten, nothing at all.”

“Really? Didn’t sound like nothing.”

“I’ll push you down on the ice.”

“No, you won’t.”

“I might.”

“You wouldn’t.”

And the little shit was right. Tetsurou didn’t have the heart to do it. He gave a pointed glare to Akaashi, because he somehow just _knew_ they had been planning this. The innocent smile they gave in return just proved it. Fuck them, honestly.

They all got their skates, and Bokuto started being a gross romantic by lacing Keiji’s for them.

Tetsurou rolled his eyes.

“Should I do that for you?” Kenma joked.

“Oh, please,” Tetsurou laughed, sticking his leg out.

So, Kenma did, making it perfectly clear he was mocking Bokuto for it.

“You make fun now, but I just want them to know that I adore them,” Bokuto shot at the two of them. “One day, you’ll understand how important that is.”

“Listen, if Akaashi ever forgets you adore them, they’re probably blind,” Tetsurou pointed out. “Everyone knows. Literally, everyone.”

“Just how I like it,” Bokuto beamed.

On the ice, Kenma and Tetsurou continued making fun of every overly sentimental thing that Akaashi and Bokuto did. What are best friends for, anyhow?

“Why don’t you two actually be together your way?” Bokuto grumbled, starting to get embarrassed seeing his every move reflected.

“This is our way,” Kenma said, smiling innocently.

“Oh, can we go to an arcade instead of bowling?” Tetsurou remembered. “For the kitten?”

Bokuto looked at Akaashi, who simply shrugged. “Sure!”

“Thanks,” Kenma replied, his smiling turning a little more genuine.

 

Tetsurou didn’t feel much like playing any of the arcade games; he was content to follow Kenma around, holding his tickets and coins. Games made Kenma show more emotion than anything else, and Tetsurou loved seeing his eyes light up. He loved seeing his frustration when he lost. This was probably the best thing to come of their day.

“Bro, your gay is showing,” Bokuto whispered when he walked past.

“I’m smitten with a kitten,” Tetsurou replied, sticking out his tongue.

“And _I’m_ the disgustingly sentimental one?” Bokuto scoffed. “Okay, Kuroo. Sure.”

Kenma snorted while he continued to kick ass at another game. “I guess you don’t have to even try that hard to look like a man in love.”

“Oh, you just make it so easy,” he teased. “Did we win yet?” He leaned over Kenma’s shoulder to see.

“Not with you clinging to me like that.”

“You gonna buy me a prize with all your tickets?” he said directly into his ear.

“F-fuck off!” In that exact moment, he barely won the game. “I might be planning to, but not if you’re gonna keep distracting me!”

“Well, then keep playing, because I want the big stuffed animal.” He pointed to the giant lion plush worth the most tickets.

Kenma muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, “High maintenance,” which just made Tetsurou laugh harder.

 

As the group went to cash in their tickets for prizes, Tetsurou really wasn’t expecting anything from his fake date. So, when Kenma sheepishly requested the giant plush lion, he almost screamed. You know, not in a gay way, but in a surprised way. And a little bit in a gay way.

“That’s so cute,” Bokuto laughed as they walked to the car. “I would’ve pinned you as the one to shower Kenma with gifts. Clearly it’s the other way around.”

“It – it is not!” Tetsurou protested. “I would do anything for him! I would get anything for him!”

“It’s true,” Kenma said, taking Tetsurou’s hand like it was nothing anymore. “He was just too captivated by my game face to try and win me anything.”

“Exactly,” Tetsurou agreed. Then, after he realized what he agreed to, stammered, “W-wait! Hang on!”

“You can stand there and argue, but we have reservations,” Kenma reminded him. “So, I wouldn’t suggest it.”

Well, shit. Kenma was actually smooth. Tetsurou was pretty sure this fake date was going to kill him.

 

The restaurant was amazing, but the one downside was that sitting altogether, there was no longer anything stopping Bokuto from opening his big fat mouth. Tetsurou should’ve sewn it shut, in hindsight.

“I’m so happy for you two,” he said through a mouthful of rice.

“You already said that,” Tetsurou reminded him.

“I know, but really, bro! I mean, in high school-”

“Bo,” he hissed.

“I’m just saying – oh! Don’t get so embarrassed! – I’m just saying, you had such a huge crush on him in high school! I thought you were never going to get the nerve to say anything!”

Kenma promptly started choking on the bread he was eating.

“Bokuto!” Tetsurou hid his face in his hands.

“What? I thought you – you didn’t tell him? Oh! It’s not embarrassing, though! It’s sweet, how you’ve been in love with him all these years.”

“Oh my god.” _This is it. I’m going to die. This is God’s way of punishing me for the one time I stole a cookie out of Kenma’s bento in grade school. I deserve this._

“He – he what?” Kenma asked, swallowing hard.

“Sure, everyone knew about it,” Bokuto continued. “I mean, he wasn’t exactly subtle. Kinda surprised someone as observant as you didn’t notice!”

“Well, to be fair, I wasn’t trying to notice anything like that,” Kenma mumbled, taking another bite of bread.

Tetsurou wondered if dying of shame was possible, and how long it would take for death to encase him fully.

“It was kinda pathetic,” Bokuto laughed. “I mean, he was in love with everything you did, and every time we talked, it was always-”

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi interrupted, sensing the humiliation. “I think that’s enough.”

He rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Fine.”

“Suddenly, I’m not hungry,” Tetsurou whispered.

“Maybe we should do the movie and karaoke another time,” Akaashi suggested, shooting him an apologetic look.

“Maybe,” Kenma agreed, eyes focused on the tablecloth.

 

When they got back to their dorm, Tetsurou headed straight for his room. He burried himself in his pillows, trying to hide from the shame.

“Kuro.” A soft knock rapped on his doorframe. “You don’t have to be so embarrassed. It’s not like you still feel that way.”

“It’s still the worst possible way for you to have found out,” he grumbled. He left out the part where he did still feel that way.

“Yeah…I see why you were getting nervous, now. Sorry. I should’ve asked.”

“I wouldn’t have told you anyways, Kenma.” He took his head out from the pillows to look at him.

“Why not? I don’t really – I mean – I don’t care.”

“You choked on your bread, Kenma. Try again.”

“I was surprised?” he offered.

“Maybe we should get a little more practice at this dating thing before going out with the power couple of the century next time.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Volleyball game next Friday?”

“It’s a fake date.”

“Great.”

“Stop moping. I didn’t finish my meal and now I’m hungry.”

“Make yourself something, then,” Tetsurou teased, sticking out his tongue.

“You’re a terrible fake boyfriend.”

“You love me.”

“I’m fake dumping you.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I could.”

“You couldn’t.”

Kenma sighed before leaving the room. Tetsurou followed him, because obviously he was going to make them dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How could I forget about the featured KiyoYachi

The fake volleyball game date was going great, in Tetsurou’s opinion. It was much better than their double date with Bokuto and Akaashi, anyhow. No one was exposing his lifelong crush anymore, and he could just be with Kenma. They posted a picture, and that was all they had to do. He loved being with them. Everything just felt so natural.

And, well, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t super into the fact that now he got to hold their hand all the time.

“Ah, dammit!” he cried when their team missed a block. “Don’t mind, don’t mind!”

“They can’t hear you, Kuro,” Kenma whispered, snuggling against him and pulling out their PSP.

“You’re not gonna watch?”

“Why bother? We’re losing.”

“Tch.”

But he wasn’t really mad, because they were practically laying on his lap. Yeah, he could get used to this. He reached up his free hand to run through their hair. It was so soft, he could have just done that all day. But then it would get weird, and they would realize he still liked them.

He couldn’t let them know.

They gave a contented little sigh and moved even closer. “You’re a bad boyfriend, but a great pillow.”

“I’m a great boyfriend,” he argued. Before Kenma could reply, the team got in a point. “ _Nice kill_!” he screamed.

“Fuck!” Kenma jumped up out of his arms.

“Sorry, kitten,” Tetsurou said sheepishly.

“You scared me.”

“You would’ve expected that if you were watching the game,” he pointed out.

“You’re the worst,” they groaned, hitting him in the arm.

“But I thought I was a good pillow.”

“Not if you’re going to shout like that.”

He tried to only give a look of fake dejection, but he did feel genuinely disappointed. Without them laying on his chest, he felt cold.

“Don’t pout,” Kenma sighed, readjusting in their seat again. “Jeez. You look like a kicked dog.”

Tetsurou made it the rest of the set without startling Kenma, which meant more opportunities to pet their hair. Not in a creepy way, obviously. No, he was just doing it, because it kept falling in front of their face, getting in the way of their game. Obviously. _Obviously._ He wasn’t a creep.

“Uh-oh,” Kenma said, putting down their game. “Kiss Cam.”

“Us?”

“No, but the couple up there looks like they’re on their first date,” they chuckled.

“Cute lesbians,” Tetsurou noted when the next couple came up. “Isn’t that Yacchan and Kiyoko?”

“Yeah. Aww, they’re so cute.”

And then, the worst possible thing imaginable happened.

They were on the Kiss Cam.

_This must be punishment for that time I laughed when Kenma hit themself on the head with a volleyball. God is coming for me. No survivors._

Tetsurou looked at his panicking best friend, wondering how he could help. They hated attention being on them, and he couldn’t imagine how awful this was for them. Especially knowing that the game was being broadcasted.

“What do we do?” he whispered, turning to them.

They were frozen in place, staring at the big screen.

“Ken?”

They grabbed him by either side of his jacket and pulled him in front of them for a kiss. Tetsurou expected the position to only require a fake kiss, since he was hiding pretty much their entire body, but Kenma didn’t hesitate to close the gap.

He felt like his soul separated from his body, and he didn’t even close his eyes. Sure, he’d always wanted them to kiss him, but this wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t even much of anything, just a five-second press, but it was also…everything.

Kenma shoved him back into his seat and sank down in theirs.

“Are you okay?” he whispered as a few people around them cheered.

“That was for your high school self,” they replied, looking up a little mischievously.

If Tetsurou wasn’t red before, he definitely was now. “Sh-shut up!”

“Was it all you hoped for?”

“Oh my god.”

“Everything you ever imagined?”

“Not even close.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint,” they laughed, turning back to watch the game.

He pretended not to notice them bite their lip. He pretended not to notice how red they got, or the fact a tiny smile was actually fighting onto their lips. He pretended he didn’t even see it.

But how could he not? It was everything.

“Better luck next time,” he whispered, half-hoping they would hear. He couldn’t tell if they did, because they didn’t react.

He hoped so, though.

 

**[From: Kitten]**

>Uh, Kuro, we may have a tiny problem. _3:06 p.m._

 

**[To: Kitten]**

>Problem being? _3:07 p.m._

 

**[From: Kitten]**

>Well…our moms watched the game yesterday? _3:08 p.m._

>When are you coming home?? _3:08 p.m._

 

**[To: Kitten]**

>I just finished my shift…why? _3:09 p.m._

 

**[From: Kitten]**

>they’re on their way here right now _3:09 p.m._

 

**[To: Kitten]**

>What’s our plan of attack? _3:10 p.m._

 

**[From: Kitten]**

>Keep up the act? Avoid confrontation? _3:10 p.m._

 

**[To: Kitten]**

>Okay, then we’ll do that. _3:10 p.m._

 

**[From:** **Kitten]**

>Kuro, I don’t think I deserve you or your friendship? _3:11 p.m._

 

**[To:** **Kitten]**

>I’d do anything for you. _3:11 p.m._

 

Tetsurou could think of a million ways this could go wrong. Their mothers were some of the brightest women on the face of the earth; surely, they’d see right through the lie. But if Kenma didn’t want to tell them the truth, that was his choice. Tetsurou wasn’t going to argue.

He knew how terrifying and out-of-hand this was getting, and he wasn’t going to make Kenma feel worse about it.

 

“I am just so happy for you two,” Kozume-san sighed, hugging both her son and Tetsurou. “We were wondering if you two were ever going to admit how you really felt!”

Tetsurou smiled at her, then at his own mother, wondering how they both accepted this so easily. Couldn’t they tell it was fake? Not that he _wanted_ them to, but…they were their moms? Shouldn’t they have known?

Kenma shrugged. “Right place, right time, I guess?”

“I can’t believe you made us find out from a Kiss Cam on television!” Kuroo-san chided. “You didn’t even think to call your poor mothers? Tell them you found love?”

“It’s still pretty new, Mom,” Tetsurou explained. “We haven’t exactly been throwing it out there yet.”

“We should all go to dinner to celebrate,” Kozume-san suggested.

“Celebrate what?” Kenma laughed. “I mean, if we were getting married, maybe, but…”

“Well, at least let us get dinner with you. We want to know everything!” Kuroo-san said.

“There’s really not much to tell,” Tetsurou sighed, grabbing his and Kenma’s coats. “I mean, we got together, and it’s been just a chill thing. Not too different from before.”

“Well, of course not,” Kuroo-san agreed. “This has been building up for over ten years. There’s no surprise that it’s not a big thing for you two. But it’s big for us!”

Tetsurou wanted to beg them to just go home. He didn’t want to think about how his feelings were so clear to everyone but Kenma. He didn’t want to think about how something that was fake was starting to kind of feel real.

 

“Who confessed first?” Kozume-san asked.

“Kuro,” Kenma replied.

“Who kissed who first?” Kuroo-san fired.

“Kenma.” _That’s not even technically a lie anymore,_ Tetsurou’s brain reminded him.

“What was your first date?” Kozume-san asked.

“Movie night on the couch,” Kenma sighed, sipping his water.

“Mom, Kozume-san, can we please skip the interrogation?” Tetsurou laughed. “We’re happy. Isn’t that what matters?”

“Yes,” his mother replied, “but we want to know! I mean, you were so _smitten_ with him in high school. When you said he was going to live with you this year, I was worried it would just destroy y-”

“ _Mom_ ,” he gasped.

Instead of doing the polite thing and choking in surprise again, Kenma just snickered, taking another bite of his ramen.

“It isn’t funny,” he cried.

“It’s pretty funny,” Kenma argued. “I can’t believe even your mom knew.”

“And yet, you didn’t,” Tetsurou groaned. “Doesn’t exactly matter _now_ , does it?”

“It kind of does,” Kozume-san was so nice to point out. “I mean, it’s not like the feelings weren’t requited, even back then.”

Tetsurou looked up at her. “Eh?”

“You know! Kenma liked you, too-”

“Mom, no!” Kenma begged, too late.

“You!” Tetsurou turned to him. “You’ve been _milking_ my high school crush! You teased me! Made fun of me!”

“Not that much,” he grumbled.

“You were the same way!” He realized he was shouting, so he lowered his voice. “When were you going to bring this up?”

“Preferably? Never.”

Tetsurou laughed; it wasn’t funny, but god, it wasn’t not-funny either. “We’re talking about this when we get home.”

“No, we’re not.”

“Oh, but I think we are.”

“No.”

“Kitten-”

“Nope.”

 

This time when they got home, it was Kenma’s turn to run to his room. The difference was that he closed and locked his door.

“Kenma!” Tetsurou called. “Come on! I’m not going to make fun of you!”

“You already did, you asshole!”

Did he? “I didn’t _mean_ to, Kenma!”

“Yes, you did!”

“Kenma…” He wracked his brain. What would get him to open the door? “I’m going to the store.”

In thirty minutes, he returned with a hot apple pie and cold vanilla ice cream.

“I got your favorite pie!” He heard shuffling in Kenma’s room. “It’s still hot and fresh!” More shuffling. “I got ice cream to eat with it!”

The lock clicked. “Yeah?”

“And ingredients for an appletini?”

The handle started to turn. “Really?”

“And a really big apology hug.”

The door slowly opened. “Thanks,” he murmured, melting into said apology hug.

“You know, you’re kind of a hypocrite,” he whispered into his hair. “Like, you made fun of me too.”

“I’m sorry, I know.”

“I shouldn’t have in front of our moms.”

“I only teased you in private.”

“I know, I know.” Then, “Wait, can I tease you in private?”

“I will move out so fast, Kuro,” Kenma threatened, eyes wide.

“Okay, then I won’t,” he laughed. “C’mon. Let’s have our dessert.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I firmly believe their moms always knew tbh


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring snuggles and a drunk Kenma (but not at the same time).
> 
> Bokuto and Akaashi are That Couple™ that can't keep their hands to themselves

He’d really been hoping that they weren’t going to be forced into watching some romantic fluffy movie with Bokuto and Akaashi on their second double date.

Tetsurou had nothing against romance movies – quite the contrary, actually! He loved them. But he cried watching them, and the only person who knew this was Bokuto. It was too coincidental to have been an accident.

The cherry on top was the fact that it was supposed to be about childhood friends realizing that they’ve been in love this whole time.

_Real fucking funny, Koutarou._

He would’ve punched his friend straight in the nose, but as soon as he realized it, he was too late. Bokuto and Akaashi were already making out.

“What, did they expect this to be a group make out session?” Kenma huffed.

“Apparently. I hope karaoke is more fun than this.” Tetsurou took some popcorn and threw it at Bokuto’s head. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “I fucking hate them.”

“Me too,” Kenma decided, glaring at their friends.

“So, should I put my arm around you or something?” he asked, not sure how they were approaching it this time.

They nodded. “Uh, yeah. Probably? Here.” They lifted the arm of the chair that separated them. “Now, we can basically cuddle.”

Tetsurou tried not to express his overwhelming joy about that. Kenma adjusted themself into his arms, their thigh now pressed against his.

_Stop being such a pervert about your best friend,_ he chided himself. _They don’t think of you that way…anymore._

But as the movie started, he was eating popcorn with one hand, playing with their hair with the other.

“Why do you like my hair so much?” Kenma whispered.

He froze. They weren’t supposed to notice that he did this. Then again, he had been twisting the bottle-blond locks for a good few minutes, so he should have tried not to be so obvious.

“Soft,” he explained, petting it. “Like a kitten.”

Kenma snorted. “Okay, weirdo.”

“It is,” Tetsurou insisted, nuzzling into their hair as if it made some sort of point. “Very soft.”

“Shh!” someone behind them hissed.

“It’s not that soft,” Kenma laughed. “You just have disgusting hair, so you’re not used to normal hair.”

“Rude!” he gasped, going from cuddling them to putting them in a headlock. “Don’t be mean!”

They giggled, and it was the sound of sunshine, he swore. He wanted to bottle up that sound. It could probably create world peace.

“New cologne?” they asked, trying to pry his arm off of their neck.

“Yeah,” he said, surprised they noticed. “Thought it would give the effect of trying to impress you. Is it working?” He let them go and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Not particularly. It’s kinda strong.”

“You haven’t complained for the first thirty minutes of the movie. I think you’re _lying_ ,” he teased, putting his arm back around them.

“Yeah? Well, maybe I-”

“ _Shh!_ ”

They looked at each other and laughed, turning back to the movie.

 

Inevitably, the mutual friend character started telling one of the childhood friends that they need to suck it up and confess, because the other one probably feels the same! Duh! How could they not!

“Just tell him?” Kenma grumbled, fist full of popcorn. “It’s not that _fucking easy_!” They launched said fistful of popcorn at the screen.

“Jeez, kitten!” Tetsurou laughed, grabbing their hands before they could get more popcorn.

“This movie is shit, Kuro.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “You’re not wrong about that.”

“ _Shh!_ ”

“Like, no one wants to admit they’ve been in love with their friend since they were eight,” Kenma continued, throwing another piece of popcorn.

“Especially not when it’s a feeling that’s continued into _adulthood_ ,” Tetsurou agreed. “I mean, how fucking humiliating is that to cope with?”

“Um, exactly,” they laughed. “Like, in what fucking world are you just gonna say, ‘Hey, I know we’ve been friends since we were still losing teeth, but I kinda want to jump your bones!’?”

“Impossible to say,” he snorted. It was a very specific sentiment though. It kind of made Tetsurou think back to their kiss the other week.

And _god_ , he wanted to kiss Kenma again.

In a flash, buttery lips brushed his own, then pulled away as quickly as they arrived. “Now, shush. I want to see how this ends.”

“You’re the one who screamed at the screen,” Tetsurou reminded them, touching his lips subconsciously. “And said the movie was sh-”

“Shh!” they insisted, hitting him before snuggling in closer.

_I’m fucked_ , he realized. _So fucked._

 

“They aren’t one being!” Tetsurou gasped when the lights turned back on. “Here are, in fact, two separate humans! Bokuto and Akaashi! Wow!”

“I can’t believe it!” Kenma joined in. “I was so convinced there was just this _blob_ two seats down from us!”

“Shut up,” Bokuto laughed. “I mean, it’s not our fault you didn’t take advantage of the two hours. What did you even do?”

“Cuddle?” Kenma offered.

“Watched the fucking movie, bro,” Tetsurou added, smacking his friend in the head.

“How do you keep your hands off of them?” Akaashi snorted, pushing past.

“Next week on Buzzfeed Unsolved,” Bokuto said.

When Kenma and Akaashi had gotten ahead, though, Tetsurou grabbed Bokuto’s arm. “They did kiss me, once.”

Bokuto grinned. “You’re like a smitten junior high girl, you know that?”

“I’m so fucked,” he laughed in agreement.

“Come on. Let’s get you two drunk and singing karaoke!”

 

“I’m not going up there,” Kenma insisted. “Please, don’t make me. I can’t sing. I really can’t.”

“Bullshit,” Tetsurou argued. “Here. Tequila shots first.”

They looked between the tequila shot and their wine glass as though deciding which one they could drown themself in faster if needed. Instead, they picked up the shot glass and downed it.

“Sing a cheesy romantic song for me?” he requested, kissing their hand.

“No,” they hissed, pulling back their hand.

“Sing a non-cheesy romantic song for me?”

“…maybe.”

He grinned up at them. “Really?”

“Shut up.” They took his shot glass and downed that too. “If this embarrasses me, we’re breaking up.”

“Not fair! Everything embarrasses you!”

“Kiss them for luck!” Bokuto cheered.

Tetsurou looked at Kenma, and they only shrugged. “Can’t hurt, right?”

Somehow, it was harder to kiss them when he was prepared for it. It was brief and tasted bitterly of alcohol, but Kenma went on their way towards the platform, shyly requesting some song that would probably be by Panic! At the Disco or Fall Out Boy.

(It was by Fall Out Boy.)

“They have an amazing voice,” Tetsurou told Bokuto over the noise. “Like, that’s half of why I’m still in love with them.”

“Me too,” Akaashi agreed, grinning when their boyfriend gasped.

“ _Aaagahshie!_ ”

“I’m teasing, Bokuto-san.”

Tetsurou turned his attention to his best friend and fake date mate (ooh, fun, say that five times fast) to hear them sing. It was exactly as angelic as anticipated.

_“If you were church, I’d get on my knees. Confess my love, I’d know where to be.”_

“Holy shit,” Bokuto gasped.

“This song is about a blow job,” Tetsurou replied.

_“I’d get on my knees!”_

“Stop looking at them like that,” Akaashi chided.

_“Take the pain, make it billboard big, and swallow it for me.”_

“Like what?” Tetsurou asked.

“Like you’re going to fuck them against the wall when they’re finished with this song.”

“I – I am _not_ looking at them like that!”

_“My sanctuary, you’re holy to me. If you were church, yeah, I’d get on my knees.”_

“You are,” Bokuto whispered. “It’s understandable, though.”

“True,” Akaashi agreed.

“Don’t be perverts!”

_“I love the world but I just don’t love the way it makes me feel.”_

“They’re so hot,” Tetsurou mumbled, mostly to himself.

_“And it’s getting hard to know what’s real. And if death is the last appointment, then we’re all just sitting in the waiting room. I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom.”_

“That’s so Kenma,” Akaashi laughed, smiling fondly at them.

“They are literally an angel,” Bokuto sighed.

“I _know_ ,” Tetsurou whined.

“Why do you sound like you’re suffering, Kuroo-san? They’re your date mate, aren’t they?”

Tetsurou almost choked on his beer. “I can still suffer over their hotness, can’t I? Am I touching them right now? No? So, I’m suffering.”

After the final note was sung, Kenma rushed off the platform, bright red.

“I hate you for making me do this,” they mumbled, downing yet another tequila shot. “I hope I forget this in the morning.”

“You’re not even drunk yet, kitten,” Tetsurou laughed.

“An enby can hope, can’t they?”

“You were amazing up there.”

“Th-thanks.”

Tetsurou wanted to find the excuse to kiss them properly, but there just wasn’t one. They weren’t really dating him, and he knew it would breach boundaries to try anything like that.

Except:

“Are you going to kiss them, or just keep gaping like an idiot?”

_Thanks, Bokuto._

He practically jumped out of his seat to get closer to them. He cupped their face in his hands and bent down to press a gentle, but _real_ kiss on their lips. His hands pushed back into their hair, and they grabbed his arms, not-very-subtly feeling his upper arm muscles. For just a moment, he could almost believe the lie they were telling everyone else.

He could have drowned in the feeling of their lips against his own. Everything in him wanted this, and he wanted more than this. But he wasn’t going to ask them for any of it. He just pulled back and kissed the tip of their nose.

Their eyes stayed closed for a moment longer, as though they were waiting for him to kiss them again. He had half a mind to comply.

But their eyes did open, and the moment passed.

 

As fate would have it, Kenma was a clingy drunk.

A giggly, clingy drunk, who talked a lot.

It was profoundly strange.

Bokuto and Akaashi sang love songs to each other, and Kenma kept drinking. Tetsurou wasn’t sure what had them so stressed, but figured it was probably to do with stage fright after the fact.

After a couple hours, Akaashi – who hadn’t even touched a drink besides water – drove Kenma and Tetsurou back to the dorm.

In the backseat, Kenma was flopped on Kuroo’s lap, poking his cheeks and giggling.

“What?”

“I can see up your nose.”

Tetsurou flared his nostrils. “Anything good?”

“You’re so _gross_ , Kuro.” They hiccupped, then they reached up and pinched his nose. “But it’s’kay. You got a cute _butt_.”

Tetsurou felt his face flush red. “Alright, kitten.”

And aside from pokes and giggles, though, that was all they said to him.

Until they got in front of the dorm.

“I’m too drunk to stand up,” they gasped, stumbling out of the car. “ _Ooh_ , I’ve never been so drunk.”

He grabbed their shoulders. “Do you need me to carry you upstairs?”

“Yes – _hic_ – thank _you_!”

He sighed and scooped them up bridal style. “You’re heavy,” he complained. They actually were – heavier than he would have expected, at least.

“I’s your _fault_ ,” Kenma slurred. “Makin’ me…go out for…vol’ball. _Muscles_.”

Tetsurou tried not to laugh, but a tiny snort found its way out anyways. “Yeah, yeah. My fault. Okay, kitten.”

“Not a prob’m though… You’re… _strong_ , righ’ Kuro?”

“Very strong,” he confirmed, pulling Kenma closer in his arms. “I gotta unlock the door; I’ll try not to drop you.”

“ _Oop_!” Kenma gasped when Tetsurou’s hand accidentally brushed his ass. “What door you unlocking?”

“ _Our_ door, sorry,” he said through gritted teeth, doing his best to unlock the door. Drunk Kenma had no filter, at it was making him _very_ flustered. He knew it was wrong to even be reacting emotionally, but the thoughts were there.

“To my bed, fair hero!” Kenma cheered, head lolling back in Kuroo’s arms.

“You’re so drunk,” Tetsurou replied, not sure what else to say. He laid his best friend in bed and pulled their covers over them.

“Thanks, Kuro.” Kenma grinned sloppily up at him. “You know – _hic!_ – I like kissing you.”

His brain shut down. There was _no way_ he was supposed to be hearing this. Absolutely no way. Sober Kenma was going to kick his ass into next week if they found out he stood there and listened.

“N…I like it when…you cuddle me.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a – _hic!_ – good fake boyfriend.”

“I do my best.”

“Wish you were-” They broke off in a yawn. “- _real_.”

“Real…? Kenma, what?” He had _so_ many questions now, but there was no way they were in any shape to answer. As a matter of fact, they were letting out little kitten snores now, and the window to ask had passed.

He went to his own room and laid in his bed, processing. A lot had happened, including _three_ kisses with his oldest friend.

_Oh, god_ , he thought to himself, _I am so fucked._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dadchi to the rescue
> 
> Also, content warning: flashback includes some misgendering, so, yeah, but it's in the past and before Kenma had the words for his/their gender

Tetsurou was still sleeping at eight the next morning, content to stay in his bed and ignore the events of the previous day. He would hide from Kenma forever, if he had to.

That was a little hard to do when his door opened, and someone flopped on top of his back.

“Get off of me,” he mumbled into his pillow.

“What? You more hungover than me?”

“Hungover Kenma is an asshole,” he decided, grabbing a spare pillow and hitting them in the head with it.

“Well, at least he’s not Drunk Kenma.” He readjusted so that he was laying next to Tetsurou. “Did I do anything awful last night? I kind of blank out after I finished singing karaoke.”

“You just hit on me a bunch,” Tetsurou grunted, pulling the covers over his head.

“Be serious.”

“I am. You said I got a nice butt.”

Kenma snorted. “Drunk Kenma is a liar.”

“You remember what happened…right after you finished karaoke, though, right? There’s no way you were drunk yet.”

“Maybe not, but I think that the tequila destroyed my short-term memory.”

“Oh.” His voice came out smaller than anticipated. Great, their first real kiss, and Kenma had drank it out of his own memory.

“Why, what happened?”

“Nothing. It’s not important.”

“Okay.” He sat up. “Do you want to go out for breakfast? There’s no way we can cook like this.”

“Is it a fake date?”

“No, it’s breakfast,” he laughed.

“Is it a real date?”

“What?”

_Right, no memory of last night._ “Nothing. I’m teasing.”

“Okay…?”

“You’re a giggly drunk, and you’re really clingy,” he informed him, finally looking at him. “You sat in my lap half the night, and you made me carry you up the stairs.”

“I did _not_!”

“You did.”

“That’s horrible.”

“Not my fault.”

“Let’s go get food.”

 

At his shift that afternoon, Tetsurou could hardly focus. He messed up three orders before taking the drive-thru for a little bit.

“You good?” his manager Daichi asked him during a bit of a lag.

“Why?”

“You’re off. I’m a little worried, Kuroo.”

He sighed and slumped against the wall. “Sawamura-kun, I’m really fucked.”

“You look worse than me when I first realized I was in love with Koushi,” he sighed, patting his shoulder. “So, what’s his name?”

“Kenma, and I’ve known him since I was eight.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “And what happened?”

“He…asked me to be his fake boyfriend. Because he accidentally said I was, and he’s really anxious.”

“No clue that you actually like him?”

“None at all.”

“What else?”

“Last night, he got _shitfaced_ , and he told me that he likes kissing me, and he wishes I was his boyfriend for real. But he doesn’t…remember.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m completely fucked, Daichi.”

“You should tell him the truth, Tetsurou. And, soon. Or else he might think that you just don’t care. Communication is key to a healthy relationship – romantic or otherwise.”

“Koushi…is a lucky man,” Tetsurou sighed.

“Not half as lucky as I am. Now, get back to work. Your weird owl friend is at the counter.”

“Bro!” He jumped to the cash register. “What can I get for you?!”

Bokuto grinned. “The usual, bro! I’m in a rush! Got a hot date to prepare for! What about you?” He wiggled his brows.

“Uh, no. Maybe? You know what, I think we’ll probably have a stay-in date? I’ll get you your usual!”

He started mixing the latte, when Daichi leaned over. “The owl friend doesn’t know?”

“Other than you, me, and Kenma…no one does.”

“Shit.”

“Shit, indeed, Sawamura-kun.”

 

When Tetsurou got home, the dorm was absolutely freezing.

“Kenma, what the fuck do you have the heat on? It’s still winter, you know!” He tossed his keys into the bowl and hung up his jacket. “Ken?” No answer. “Kitten?”

“I’m totally not taking advantage of your surgery leaving you with slower response-time! Shou, how could you even accuse me of such a thing?”

He chuckled, poking his head into Kenma’s room. He was video chatting with Hinata on the phone while they played a game on the computer.

“Oh! Kuro just got home from work. Say hi to Shouyou!”

He sat down next to Kenma on his bed. “Hey, Hinata! You’re looking great! Recovering well?”

Hinata replied with a sleepy grin. “Hey, Kuroo-san! I’m recovering _excellently_! I feel so…shitty. Like I just had surgery. But a good kind of shitty!”

Kenma smiled so wide that he started to tear up. “I remember that feeling.” Tetsurou remembered it too, from secondhand. “You know, Kuro stayed with me in the hospital the whole time? He even snuck back in when visiting hours were over.”

“Sounds like Tobio,” Hinata giggled, then he cringed. “Laughing still kinda hurts. The chestage, you know?”

“I was just so happy for him; I wanted to be there every step of his recovery,” Tetsurou remembered. “Luckily, Kenma doesn’t laugh very often.”

“That’s not true,” Kenma argued.

“Yes, it is,” he laughed. “You snort, you scoff, you huff, and sometimes you even giggle, but you rarely laugh.”

“He’s right, Kenma,” Shouyou agreed.

“Didn’t stop Kuro from trying to make me bust a stitch while we were in the hospital, though…”

Tetsurou grinned. “What are best friends for?”

Kenma pecked him on the cheek. “Yeah, yeah. Can we come see you after class sometime this week? I’m guessing Tobio is bringing you your homework, but…”

“I’d love if you guys came!” Hinata brightened up at the sound of that. “And yes, he’s got all my things gathered. Such a sweet boyfriend.”

“But has he ever carried your drunken ass bridal style up the stairs to bed?” Kenma challenged.

“I don’t _drink_ , Kenma.” Shouyou stuck out his tongue.

“Kenma usually doesn’t either,” Tetsurou stage-whispered. “Not that much, anyhow. It’s why he’s such a lightweight.”

_“Dumbass! Why are you still awake? You should be resting! You need sleep to recover!”_

Hinata’s face went pale. “Yikes, my blueberry arrives. Talk to you later, Kenma.”

“Later, Shouyou.” He ended the call. “I’m so happy for him.”

“Me too,” Tetsurou agreed. “So, why is it cold as balls in here?”

“Heater broke.”

“In the middle of January?”

“Yep.”

“Fuck me.”

“Well, that would help to keep us warm, but it’s not a long-term solution.”

Tetsurou stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry at him. “What are we going to do? Freeze?”

“We could go out again.”

“And do what?”

“I dunno. Go to an arcade again…or we could go back to that karaoke bar, because you never sang _me_ a homoerotic love song about a blow job.”

Tetsurou snorted. “I don’t know, I might have another song in mind.”

“Like what?”

“Haven’t decided. Don’t get drunk off your ass again.”

“I don’t plan on it,” he promised.

“What should we do first, though? The night is young!”

Kenma giggled. “I dunno. The arcade idea still stands.”

“You are an addict. You need help.”

“I am not! I can stop playing games whenever I want! I’m not playing right now, am I?”

“Sounds like something an addict would say.” Tetsurou ruffled Kenma’s hair and poked him in the sides. “You need help. I only say it because I care.”

“The only thing I need is for you to be a good fake boyfriend and take me to the arcade so I can play games without freezing my ass off.” Kenma pushed him, so Tetsurou pushed back, wrestling him against the bedframe.

“We could go get tattoos,” Tetsurou countered. “I could get your name tattooed on my bicep – or on my ass!”

“Please never get my name tattooed on your ass,” Kenma laughed, smacking their foreheads together.

“But when I inevitably end up in prison, how will the other men know I already belong to someone?”

“You’re appalling.”

“You’re addicted to gaming.”

They were so close that Kenma was just a soft blur of cat eyes in Tetsurou’s vision. Tetsurou crossed his eyes, and Kenma puffed out his cheeks.

“We could go ruin Bokuto’s date night with Keiji?” Tetsurou suggested, grinning widely.

“No! After they’ve been so nice? They’re the only other couple we’re properly friends with,” Kenma joked.

“We could go out for karaoke, then spend the rest of the night snuggling in bed watching movies,” he suggested, more seriously this time. He didn’t expect Kenma to go for it.

“I would like that.” Then, after the moment of sincerity, “You’re even uglier from this close up.”

“You wound me, kitten!”

 

In a last-minute decision, Tetsurou decided to go with something Sufficiently Gay™ without it being something that applied to him and Kenma too directly. Karaoke was supposed to be _fun_ , right? How could it be fun if he was gushing his heart out? It couldn’t be.

_“Take a trip into my garden; I’ve got so much to show ya.”_ He winked at Kenma, who rolled his eyes. _“The fountains and the waters are begging just to know ya.”_

It didn’t have to be serious, but he blew kisses to Kenma whenever the song allowed for it, hoping it set at least a fun mood for the rest of the evening. As he sang – and mind you, he wasn’t a very good singer – he thought about what Daichi had told him.

_You should tell him the truth._

_“I bloom, I bloom just for you. I bloom just for you. Yeah, I bloom, I bloom, just for you, I bloom, just for you.”_ He wondered if this counted as a confession. He wished, but it probably didn’t. _“Come on, baby, play me like a love song; every time it comes on, I get this sweet desire.”_

His singing was bad enough and off-key enough to earn some laughs and cheers when he wrapped up the song. They were probably cheering for the fact that he was almost done, honestly.

He didn’t really care about that, though.

All that mattered was the tiny smile growing on Kenma’s face, a little laugh bubbling out, and the small claps he gave when it was over.

“You’re a terrible singer,” he told Tetsurou when he got off the stage.

“Thank you,” Tetsurou laughed.

“You have alright taste in music.”

Tetsurou almost asked for a kiss, like he gave Kenma the previous night…but his friend didn’t remember that part, so he decided not to push it.

“Did I make it up to you?”

“I guess…”

“What more do you want from me, Kenma?” he laughed.

“To choose the movie we watch tonight?”

“ _Fine_. Let’s grab takeaway on our way home?”

“Alright. Can we get apple pie?”

“Of course.” They latched hands out of newfound habit.

“Hey, Kuro?”

His heart fluttered. “Yeah?”

“I put a video of you singing on Facebook.” Kenma grinned up at him.

“I hate you!”

“No, you don’t!”

 

The apartment seemed to have only gotten colder since they’d left. Tetsurou would’ve complained, but Kenma didn’t seem to care.

“I’m picking my favorite movie, and you have to suffer through it!” Kenma called as he ran inside.

“Your taste in movies is shit!” he replied, regretfully taking off his coat.

“Too bad! You should’ve sung yesterday. I’m putting it in the DVD player as we speak.”

He jumped over the back of the couch. “I’m not watching this again, Kenma!”

“You have to! I’ve sat through the same romantic comedies a million times.” He smiled back at him, and _god_ , it was such a cute smile. Tetsurou almost could have caved.

“I’ve never watched a movie twice with you!”

“ _Yikes_ ,” Kenma gasped. “They all have the _exact_ same plot?”

He rolled off the couch onto Kenma. “Please pick something else?”

“No, you freak, get off of me!”

“P _lease_?”

Kenma fought back, and suddenly they were two kids wrestling on the floor, arguing over what movie to watch or what game to-

_“You’re only picking that game because you beat me at it all the time!” Tetsurou wrestled him to the floor._

_“Maybe you just suck,” Kenma replied flatly, kicking back._

_“You suck!”_

_“Tetsurou, are you beating up Kenma-chan again? You’re bigger than her,” his mom called. “Come on, get up.”_

_“Kenma’s like a boy, Mom!” he said, looking apologetically at Kenma. He just smiled softly in return._

_“You’re still bigger than her. Play nice!”_

_“Sorry,” he whispered._

_“For beating me up all the time, or for you mom calling me a girl?” Kenma replied._

_“For my mom calling you a girl,” Tetsurou replied, putting him in a headlock. “I’m not sorry for this.”_

“When did you get on top of me?” he blurted out, frowning at Kenma.

“You spaced out, which made it easy. We’re watching the movie.” He reached up on the coffee table for the remote. “Maybe the millionth time is when you’ll finally appreciate its cinematic genius.”

“Oh, and I suppose you’re just going to lay on me, now, for the whole movie?”

Rather than answer him, Kenma just wiggled around until he was comfortable, then pressed play. Tetsurou would have knocked him down – it would have been easy – but…

_“We need one more blanket, and then the fort will be complete!” Tetsurou announced. Then, he sighed. “Kenma, are you still playing your GameBoy?”_

_“I gotta pass this level.”_

_“You keep saying that. Come on, help me finish the fort!” After a beat, “_ Please _?”_

_He sighed, but he set down his game and stood up. “Okay. Where do you want to put it?”_

_“I wanna stretch it to that chair! Then, we’ve got all this room to lay and we can put snacks over there and play games over here!”_

_They stretched the blanket above them, and then Kenma returned to his game. Tetsurou laid next to him, resting his chin on his shoulder._

_“You almost done?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“You’re really good at this game.”_

_“Thanks.”_

_“Can we play something together?”_

_“If you want.”_

_Kenma smelled like strawberries. His mom still made him use girls’ shampoo, but Tetsurou liked it. Kenma couldn’t care either way, but Tetsurou knew he was a little upset over it. He didn’t get why their moms didn’t see Kenma as a boy like he did._

_“Stop smelling my hair, it’s weird.”_

_“S-sorry.”_

_Kenma beat the level, then smiled over at him. “What do you wanna play?”_

“This movie is shit.” Tetsurou wrapped his arms around Kenma, pulling him close. “But, if it means that much to you, I’ll try to like it.”

“You just don’t want me to stop laying on you.”

And he’d argue, but well, Kenma was one hell of a blanket.

 

“You’re really bad at this game.”

They were laying backwards on Kenma’s bed, under the covers, playing a game with the laptop as their screen.

“Shut up. I just don’t play it every spare chance that I get.” But Tetsurou knew he could probably do better, if he didn’t keep looking at Kenma every five seconds.

He was laying so close that their skin touched, and that shouldn’t have been distracting, but it was.

Kenma kicked him under the blankets. “Pay attention.”

Tetsurou kicked him back. “I am paying attention. Have mercy on your oldest friend.”

“When have I ever?”

_“Have mercy, Kenma!” Tetsurou cried, losing badly in yet another game. “I’m not as good as you at this stuff!”_

_“Hi, boys,” Kozume-san called when she got home. Kenma smiled, just a little. His mom called them “boys” instead of “kids” now, and that meant everything._

_“Hi, Mom!” they both replied._

_“Kuro, she’s not your mom,” Kenma laughed._

_“Might as well be; I’m here all the time.”_

_“I don’t want you as a brother, you’re the worst.”_

_“I’m not the one mercilessly killing you in every game we play.”_

_Kozume-san chuckled. “Kenma, go easy on him.”_

_“If I do, he’ll never learn,” Kenma laughed, elbowing Tetsurou._

_“How can I learn when you insist on crushing me?”_

_“You’re getting better.”_

_“You know that’s a lie, Ken!”_

“You should have a handicap,” Tetsurou decided. “Like, a blindfold. Or you can only play with your face, no hands.”

Kenma, as if to rub it in, immediately switched to controlling the game with his nose. He was still winning.

“This is an insult to every fiber of my being,” Tetsurou whined.

Kenma switched to using his cheek for the controller, then his chin.

“I hate you!”

“This was your idea.” Then, “Shouyou has made me play with various stupid handicaps before.”

He thought for a moment, then pushed Kenma over and covered his eyes.

“That’s cheating!”

“But I’m winning!”

Kenma kneed him in the side. “Now, I’m just going to kick your ass, Kuro.”

“Oh, and what, you were going easy on me before?”

“Yes.”

“Pff, eat a dick.”

“After I win.”

Tetsurou shoved his head, but he allowed him to continue kicking his ass.

“Can’t you at least use a stupid handicap and make me believe I had a chance?” he begged.

“Fine.” Kenma stuck out his tongue, then used that to control his character.

Tetsurou coughed and dropped his controller. He should _not_ have been that good at that, and…it should not have been a turn on. God, he was going to hell for even thinking about that.

“Ku’o, yo’e dyi’g,” Kenma muttered, continuing to play.

“Maybe we should just go to sleep!” he suggested, turning away sharply.

“Hmm…okay.” Kenma turned off the game and readjusted the bed so they could lay down. “You’re acting really weird today. Did something happen last night?”

Tetsurou froze. “N-no.”

“I’ve known you for thirteen years.” Kenma cuddled against him to fight off the cold. “I know when you lie.”

“I thought confrontation made you anxious,” Tetsurou groaned, tucking Kenma’s head under his chin. “Yet here you are, confronting me.”

“You’re different.”

“It doesn’t matter. I kind of ignored most of what you were saying after you complimented my ass, because it felt like I was intruding on secret, personal thoughts.” He reached up and touched Kenma’s hair. “You’d kick my ass if I’d listened to everything Drunk Kenma said.”

“Obviously you heard me, or it wouldn’t scare you so much to tell me what I said. What did I say?” he prompted.

“It’s not important.”

“Did I confess to that time I almost gave Lev a concussion with my book bag?”

“You did _what_?!”

“Uh, nothing.”

“Look, can we-?” He broke off into a yawn. “Kitten, can we discuss this in the morning?”

“Must’ve been bad if you’re gonna fake yawn. Fine,” he sighed. “But I’m not letting this go, so you’d better grow some courage overnight.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“You gonna keep playing with my hair like a pervert?”

“Yes.”

Kenma sighed, pressing in closer. “M’kay.”

He pressed a tiny kiss into Kenma’s hair, then hoped that sleep would take him soon. Or death. Whichever happened to come first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the end! I really just wanted to throw this whole thing out into the world, so I hope you're enjoying it


	7. Chapter 7

Tetsurou woke up before Kenma that morning. Half of him wanted to bolt out of bed, out of the apartment, and then out of Japan, but the other half wanted to stay and cuddle.

Kuroo Tetsurou was a weak man. He chose to stay and cuddle.

They were a tangle of limbs, but that always happened when they shared a bed. Kenma moved _a lot_ in his sleep. Tetsurou was lucky that he managed to avoid getting kicked or hit this time.

“I love you,” he whispered, before he was awake enough to process it. “I… _oh_.”

He rubbed his eyes, then placed a hand on Kenma’s head. _This is bad, Tetsurou, very bad._ He combed his fingers through the blond locks. It was amazing how it stayed so soft, even after years of bleaching and dyeing.

It had been years, but Kenma still smelled like strawberries.

Once, in Kenma’s third year of high school, he dyed the ends of his hair strawberry pink, with red lowlights underneath. He mostly did it because Tetsurou told him it sounded stupid, but then, it turned out to be completely breath-taking. Kenma had to have been made of magic, because he made literally anything look good.

With his strawberry-scented shampoo and pink locks, Tetsurou couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t hug him or sit next to him without wanting to scream. Sometimes, the man was just too pretty.

He nosed his hair and kissed the top of his head. He twisted a longer strand in his finger, wondering what he was going to say. Did he tell Kenma that he’d drunkenly confessed to wanting to be his real boyfriend? Or did he try to keep it vague?

No, Kenma would know if he tried to hide anything. He couldn’t lie. He was just going to have to tell the truth.

The _full_ truth, that’s what Daichi would probably tell him to do.

So, along with telling Kenma that he confessed, he should probably tag on that he wants nothing more than for this to be real. Than to have to opportunity to wake up like this every morning – for the next week, next year, next _rest of his fucking life_ , honestly?

Kenma adjusted in his arms, pushing his head further into Tetsurou’s hand. “G’morn’ng.”

“Morning, sunshine.”

“You have to tell me now.” He opened an eye.

“Pardon me?”

“You have to tell me what I s-” Maybe God didn’t hate Tetsurou, because Kenma’s phone rang. “It’s Shouyou.” He wiggled around in Tetsurou’s arms so he could grab his phone, but otherwise made no effort to get out of the cuddling. “Hey, Shouyou…Emergence-…? Level ten…? We’ll be at the hospital in ten… Yeah, Kuro’s coming… He says hi… No, you didn’t wake us… Shouyou! You didn’t interrupt _anything_ , god, you’re so-…! Yeah, on our way.” He hung up.

Tetsurou couldn’t help but chuckle. “That’s so like him. What’s the emergency?”

“No clue. We should go.”

“Then, you should get up.”

“I…” Kenma’s breath hitched. “Is it weird that I don’t want to?”

“It’s still cold outside of the covers?” he offered, trying to give him an excuse.

“I think…” He shifted back further into Tetsurou. “I think I just like it here with you.”

“Well…” Curiously, experimentally, he pressed a kiss against Kenma’s shoulder. “I don’t work today…” Another kiss. “…and it’s Sunday, so there’s no classes…” Another. “…so, we can come back here…” Another. “…after.”

“Are you _trying_ to keep me here?” Kenma grumbled, pushing away. “Do that again and you’ll have to physically drag me to all my classes tomorrow.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

Kenma picked up his pillow and pushed it onto Tetsurou’s face. “I won’t.”

“ _Kenma_!” He pushed back at the pillow, gasping for air.

“Just trying to kill the mood.” Kenma got out of bed and grabbed the nearest sweatshirt.

“You trying to kill _me_ in the process?”

“Collateral damage, Kuro. I do what I must.”

 

“Sorry, I know it took longer than ten minutes,” Kenma gasped when they arrived at Shouyou’s hospital room. “ _Someone_ thought it was a decent time to distract me…”

“He smothered me with a pillow to be here, Hinata,” Tetsurou muttered. “How’re you doing, kid?”

Hinata was laying in his hospital bed, and Tobio was curled up next to him, nuzzling his fluffy red hair as if two more people hadn’t just walked in.

“I’m okay. But the Level Ten emergency,” he said, gesturing for Kenma to come closer.

“Yeah, what is it? Is it about the dysphoria, because I know it sucks that it doesn’t all go away with the breasts, but-?”

“No, no,” Hinata interrupted. “I mean, there’s that too, but it helps to have this guy around. No, I mean, _Level Ten_. It’s an emergency.” He waved a DS in the air.

Kenma blinked, and Tetsurou snorted.

“We can’t beat Level Ten,” he continued.

“I tried to help, but I’m no good,” Kageyama added, acknowledging them for the first time.

Kenma rarely got annoyed with anyone besides him, so Tetsurou was surprised when a dead look came into his eyes. “This is what I left my morning cuddles for?”

Hinata giggled. “You said I wasn’t interrupting _anything_ …”

“You asked if we were having-! Okay.” He took a deep breath then forced his way onto the bed between the boyfriends. “It’s…not that hard.”

“That’s because you’re so good at it,” Hinata said. “Sorry, Kuroo-san. I didn’t mean to interrupt-” His voice dropped to a whisper. “- _morning sex_.”

“You didn’t,” Tetsurou reassured him. “You interrupted morning cuddles that could have turned _into-_ ”

“No, no, they couldn’t have,” Kenma interrupted. His tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he tapped away, winning for Hinata. “Here.”

“ _Wha_?! Already?” Hinata gasped. “You’re so cool, Kenma!”

“It’s really not that hard,” Kenma replied, turning pink. “Here you go.”

“Thank _you_! Do you wanna stay a while?” Hinata offered. “ _Or_ do you wanna get back to what you were doing…before I called?” He wiggled his brows.

“We can stay,” Kenma said firmly. “We can stay _all day_.”

Tetsurou gasped. “Kitten!”

But Kenma just ignored him, chatting to Hinata.

Kageyama stood to let the two of them talk and walked awkwardly to stand beside Tetsurou.

“They’re cute,” Tetsurou observed.

“I’m really glad Shou has a friend who gets what he’s going through,” Kageyama whispered. “I feel helpless sometimes, you know?”

“You don’t have to understand,” Tetsurou replied. “You just have to understand that you don’t understand, and then listen to him when he needs you.”

“Can you keep a secret?”

“I’ve been keeping my own secrets for thirteen years,” he sighed dramatically.

Kageyama turned to face him directly, then pulled a little box out of his pocket. “I – um – well… I love him.”

“That’s not the secret, right?” he teased.

Kageyama shook his head, then he opened the box. “This is.”

“You’re gonna-?” He smiled at the two on the bed, then grabbed Tobio’s arm and yanked him into the hallway. “You’re going to propose to Hinata?! Tobio – I mean, Kageyama-kun – I mean-!”

“Tobio is fine.”

“Tobio.” He grabbed the younger man’s shoulders. “That’s amazing! He’s going to love this. When are you planning to do it?”

“Well, when he gets home from the hospital. I want him to be, you know, recovered and all that.”

“Sure, sure. Post-proposal sex would be a lot on a post-surgery body.”

Tobio flushed red. “I just meant that I was going to play volleyball with him first.”

“Oh.” He winked and gave the “ok” sign. “Sure, sure.”

“Kenma’s right; you are a pervert.”

“And yet, he loves me.” Tetsurou grinned. “Am I allowed to tell the kitten? He’s so good with secrets! Like, so, so good!”

“Um, Kenma doesn’t keep _anything_ from Shouyou. I know this, because Shouyou doesn’t keep anything from me. Or anyone. He is not good with secrets.”

“So, that’s a no, then.” He sighed. Then, “Wait, he doesn’t keep anything from Shouyou? Like, anything at all?”

“Let’s just say, the only reason he was bugging Kenma about you two being in bed together this morning is because he knows you two haven’t done anything but hold hands and kiss,” Kageyama replied, putting the ring back in his pocket. Seeing Tetsurou’s embarrassed face, he added, “But…it’s also…how I know…”

“How you know what?”

“That Kenma’s in love with you. Like, thinks it’s probably the real deal. Hinata doesn’t shut up about how he wants to be the best man at your inevitable wedding?”

He laughed, but his heart was pounding. It was something Kenma talked about sober, too… Maybe that discussion wasn’t going to be the worst thing in the world, after all.

“Well, you can tell Shouyou, who will inevitably tell Kenma, that he’s definitely going to be best man. Kenma’s,” he added, “because mine will be Bokuto.”

Tobio snorted. “Right.”

 

“Ooh, wanna grab coffee?” Tetsurou suggested, seeing the café he worked at come up on the drive back home.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Kenma shifted in his seat, tugging at the belt like it was strangling him. “Are we ever going to talk, Kuro?”

“Why do you think we’re grabbing coffee, Kenma?” he sighed, pulling into the parking lot. “We’re going to talk. My boss – um – he – well, Daichi knows. And if he’s there, I feel like he’d physically harm my person for not saying what I want to say.”

“Okay,” Kenma said, snickering a little. “I think I know what you want to say, in that case, and I think you’re an idiot for not telling me this already.”

“Don’t judge a book before you’ve even _seen_ its cover, kitten.” He got out of the car, then opened the door for Kenma, who seemed frozen in his spot. “Come on. If you knew what I was going to tell you, you wouldn’t be so scared.” He extended his hand, and Kenma took it.

“Maybe I’d be scared either way, because I’m always scared.”

Tetsurou opened the door. “Well, you don’t have to be scared with me.”

Kenma looked up and smiled. “Too late.”

They walked up to the counter, where Daichi was, sure enough, waiting.

“Hey, Daichi!” he called. “I’ll have my usual, and – kitten, what would you like?” Kenma whispered his order, which Tetsurou repeated to Daichi.

“Is this him?” Daichi asked, nodding to Kenma.

“D-Daichi!” Tetsurou hissed.

“Sorry, sorry. Have fun on your da-!”

“Oh, my god.” He tightened his grip on Kenma’s hand and dragged him to the part of the counter to pick up the coffees.

“Aww, do you talk about me?” Kenma whispered.

“I told you he knew,” he grumbled.

He just snickered in reply.

“Excuse me, Mr. Barista Man with the Cute Ass!” Another customer walked in, flashing Daichi a smile. He was a short man with silver locks and a smile that was way too innocent to go along with his opening statement.

Daichi almost dropped their drinks. “Ah! Hello, what can I get you?”

“My _usual_. You see, I’m on my hour lunch break, and it’s a ten minute commute between the hospital and here…”

“I feel like I shouldn’t be seeing this,” Kenma muttered, hiding his face in Tetsurou’s shirt. Tetsurou squeezed his own eyes shut.

“O-oh!” Daichi lowered his voice, then announced he would be taking a thirty-minute break. “Oikawa, please get them Kuroo and his boyfriend their drinks! Thanks!”

“Koushi, I presume?” Tetsurou asked, seeing the silver-haired man was now pulling Daichi to the apartment above the café by his tie.

“Shut up, Tetsurou,” he hissed.

He held up his hands in surrender. “Have fun on your ‘lunch’ break! Your meal looks great!”

“I can fire you, Kuroo-kun!”

Oikawa came out and handed them their drinks. “Aren’t Dai-chan and Kou-chan _so_ disgustingly cute? Not as cute as me and Iwa-chan, of course, but-!”

“Tooru, you should know that I don’t really care,” Tetsurou informed them, taking the drinks.

They rolled their eyes. “O _kay_ , Tetsu-chan. I see you’re on a date. Fine, fine.”

Kenma chose a table that was in a ray of sunlight, so Tetsurou sat across from him.

“So, what did I say when I was drunk, Kuro? Nowhere to run.” He glanced at Oikawa, who was pretending not to listen. “Tooru, if he bolts?”

“I’ll tackle him!” they promised.

“You told me you like cuddling with me,” he said at rapid speed.

Kenma rolled his eyes. “Oh, I guess that this morning in bed wasn’t evidence enough to that?”

“You also…” He took a shaky breath. “Okay. You said you like kissing me, also.”

His face pinkened, but he nodded. “It’s not…the worst.”

“Don’t be a tsundere, Ken-chan, it doesn’t suit you~!” Oikawa chimed from the counter.

“You this rude to all our customers, you nosy bastard?” Tetsurou demanded.

“Sorry, sorry!” They went back to cleaning a blender.

“Okay,” Kenma sighed, “so, that’s not untrue. Was that seriously it? Or is there a reason you look like you’re going to pass out?”

“You called me a good…” He lowered his voice. “ _Fake boyfriend._ ”

“I mean, you are. You’ve stuck by me, even when some of this has gotten a little ridiculous.” He sipped his coffee. “If that’s what got you all flustered, Kuro, I swear-”

“You said you wished I was your boyfriend for real, Ken. And then, you passed out.”

Kenma choked on his coffee. “That’s…that’s not flattering.”

“I wanted to ask what the hell that meant, but I figured you were drunk, so-”

Kenma reached across the table and smacked him in the head. “You should have talked to me about that first thing in the morning.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you I love you.” He ran his fingers through his hair and hid his face.

Kenma pulled his hands down so he could see his eyes. “You didn’t have any trouble this morning.”

“Eh?” His heart was pounding, and he wasn’t sure what to say.

“That’s what woke me up.”

“Oh, my god…”

“Kuro.” Kenma leaned across the table. “I…I’ve liked you since… Well, I don’t know when.”

“You don’t know when,” Tetsurou repeated.

“When we first met, you told me you thought I was the prettiest girl in the neighborhood. And when I told you not to call me a girl, you called me the prettiest boy in the neighborhood.”

“I stand by it.” He smiled, feeling shy, which was unusual for him.

“Kuro, why did you tell that guy at the bar that I was your boyfriend?”

_He was bigger than Kenma, trying to intimidate him. Fuck, that pissed Tetsurou off to no end._

_“Back the hell off, you piece of shit! He said he wasn’t interested!” And he slammed him into a wall. It wasn’t his normal response, but sometimes, it was needed._

_“Mind your own fucking business!”_

_“No one likes someone who can’t understand the word ‘no’!”_

_“What the hell’s it to you?” A surge of rage._

_“He’s my fucking boyfriend!”_

“Because the idea of anyone treating you like shit pisses me off,” he replied.

“That’s all? You could’ve just punched him to get it over with. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Okay.” He sighed. “Because a part of me…wishes it was true.”

“So, you agreed to fake date me, because…?”

“I could never deny you literally anything, and also,” he paused, “because I thought it was the closest I was going to get.”

“Shouyou only thought I meant we went _home together_ , because he knows I’ve liked you forever.”

“I gathered.”

“Tobio?”

“Yeah, he says Hinata tells him everything, but uh…”

“Neither of them can keep a secret to save their lives, I know.” He laughed. “So, why are we still sitting here, having this conversation?”

“Would you let me please finish my coffee, Kuro?” He smirked as he took another sip.

Tetsurou stood. “Dunno that I can.”

“What?”

“Well…you’re sitting in the sunlight, looking all gorgeous, I’m gonna need to kiss you.”

“You’ve waited thirteen years, but you can’t wait for me to finish a latte?”

“No.”

“Impatient.”

“A little.” He leaned over him. “But you’ve waited thirteen years for this. Can’t you wait to finish your latte?”

“No.”

Tetsurou fell to his knees. “ _Kenma_ , you wound me!”

He took another sip of coffee. “You’ll live.”

“Kenma,” he whined.

He turned in his seat and looked down at Tetsurou. “You’re kinda needy, you know.”

“You are too!”

“I know.” He tilted his chin up. “And yet, you love me.”

“I like that you’re needy.”

“I know.”

“Like a kitten.”

“Shut up.” They bumped noses. “I finished my latte.”

“Does this mean I’m getting my kiss?”

“…maybe.”

Kenma always got sugary drinks. When he pulled Tetsurou up to his lips, Kuroo was waiting to taste the sweetness. He was kind of glad Kenma finished his drink first. He tasted like white chocolate and raspberries and coffee and milk…

“I’m not going to make out with you in a coffee shop,” Kenma breathed against his lips. “So, if you’re going to kiss me again, we should probably go home.”

“Hang on, this is the best part,” Tetsurou whispered.

“What is?”

He pulled away and nodded to the door that led upstairs.

It opened, and sure enough, Daichi and Koushi came out. Daichi straightened his tie and tried to act natural, but Koushi sent over an obvious wink before flipping Daichi’s tie over his shoulder.

“See you when I get home tonight, babe.”

“Yeah, see you.”

“Love you!”

“I love you too, Suga.” Then, to Tetsurou and Oikawa, “Mind your own fucking business!”

Oikawa made kissy faces at him, and Tetsurou put up an “ok” sign with one hand, putting his finger through it with the other.

“No way to treat your manager, you two!” He looked at Kuroo more closely. “I can’t believe you’re giving me a hard time when you’re sitting by him like that.”

“Sitting by them,” Kenma whispered.

“Sitting by them,” Tetsurou repeated, louder. “See you tomorrow. Gotta go home.”

“We can stay a little long-”

Tetsurou scooped them up in his arms. “Gotta go home.”

“Impatient.”

“And yet, you love me.”

Kenma tilted their head up and kissed him. “For some god forsaken reason.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was honestly the fluffiest, easiest thing I've ever written. I hope you guys enjoyed! It was fun. And I love me some DaiSuga thrown in, just for that splash, yaknow?


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